Introduction to Naked and Raw (Soon to be published)

Standing under the crackling song of the power lines above my head, a transformation began. Nature surrounded me like a womb of sound, scent, and comfort. At that moment in time, I was the only being on Earth, and I reveled in the solitude and splendor. Two nights later, I was in that same spot, with the help of a gift from the Universe, releasing the suffocating darkness that had become my existence. The smoke drifted around my body, separating me from everything but myself. I greedily inhaled the heady smoke, breathed it in with desolate passion, only to release it into the sky again. My personal demons were holding on with the fervor only parasites can gain from their host. The soft murmur from my guide penetrated me like fingers sliding across satin on a cool day. I opened my mouth to scream at the sky and ask why, when suddenly my eyes turned into myself and I knew. I understood my purpose, my calling, the sacrifices that come with it and the joy that will be the end result. I thought I would have to dig deep for the right words and emotions to pen the work that resides between the covers of this book, but I know now that they will flow like the smoke that circled my head and drifted into the night.

Aftermath

love is the bastard creation of lust
trust in forever and forever more
abhor the silence when there's
nothing left to say
I love you becomes the hollow sound
that keeps you bound to fallacies
reflected in eyes gone tacit

tears a mere consolation
prize for second place
in a race for the dissolution
of nights alone
solo footsteps to the bed
waiting to suffocate me in my solitude
exude my passions spattered on the wall
as they drip into puddles of laughter
in the hereafter

after I've been here

Epiphanous

It's been a while since I've written and much has transpired. I spent four life altering days in Nashville visiting two dear friends. I can't, or should I say I won't go into much detail about the trip, because it is very personal to me. Now that's a surprise coming from the woman who doesn't hesitate to share everything. This is very different. and interestingly enough the most amazing coincidence ever happened after that trip.

Standing under the crackling song of the power lines over my head, a transformation began. Nature surrounded me like a womb of sound, scent, and comfort. At that moment in time I was the only being on Earth, and I reveled in the solitude and splendor.

Two nights later I was in that same spot, with the help of a gift from the Universe, releasing the suffocating darkness that had become my existance. The smoke drifted around my body, separating me from everything but myself. I greedily inhaled the heady smoke, breathed it in, ony to release it into the sky. My personal demons were holding on with the fervor only parsites can gain from their host. The soft murmur from my guide penetrated me like fingers sliding across satin on a cool day. I opened my mouth to scream at the sky and ask why, when suddenly my eyes turned into myself and I knew. I understood my purpose, my calling, the sacrifices that come with it and the joy that will be the end result.

This experience was the outcome of a smudging ritual. I thought I would have to dig deep for the right words and emotions to pen the work that will be in my upcoming book "Naked and Raw" but I know now that they will flow like the smoke that circled my head and drifted into the night. What a gift...

Wow

I went to the Lobby in St. Pete last night and it was an amazingly inspirational time. That seems to be happening a lot lately. I revel in being surrounded by talented, down to earth people. It renews my view on the better things in life and makes the not so good stuff seem like the small stuff it is.

I am preparing for a trip to Nashville, as I'm sure I've mentioned before, and I'm so thrilled knowing I'm going to meet even more awesome people. There is a sense of joy in knowing that one can step outside of the day to day grind of having to "make it" out there and into a realm of basking in the presence of people that constantly confirm you can rise above it all and follow your dreams. I've spent the greater part of this lifetime being told to let go of my dreams and live in reality. Who's reality? What reality? And...what the hell is reality?

Reality is what you make it. Good, bad, or indifferent, it's all about what you want and how you want to live. Reality is as individual as a fingerprint, a personal thought process, and above all a desire to make the life you have as fabulous as you want it to be. Thanks to the people in my life, it's more fabulous than I'd imagined it could ever be and it keeps getting better.

I am a poet, a writer, and my own unique kind of artist. I can finally embrace that and not feel like I'm slipping into vanity or a sense of being something better than the next person, but in my universe I am proud of who I am, what I have accomplished, and what is yet to come!

In my universe, I am...

Wow

I went to the Lobby in St. Pete last night and it was an amazingly inspirational time. That seems to be happening a lot lately. I revel in being surrounded by talented, down to earth people. It renews my view on the better things in life and makes the not so good stuff seem like the small stuff it is.

I am preparing for a trip to Nashville, as I'm sure I've mentioned before, and I'm so thrilled knowing I'm going to meet even more awesome people. There is a sense of joy in knowing that one can step outside of the day to day grind of having to "make it" out there and into a realm of basking in the presence of people that constantly confirm you can rise above it all and follow your dreams.

I've spent the greater part of this lifetime being told to let go of my dreams and live in reality. Who's reality? What reality? And...what the hell is reality? Reality is what you make it. Good, bad, or indifferent, it's all about what you want and how you want to live. Reality is as individual as a fingerprint, a personal thought process, and above all a desire to make the life you have as fabulous as you want it to be.

Thanks to the people in my life, it's more fabulous than I'd imagined it could ever be and it keeps getting better.I am a poet, a writer, and my own unique kind of artist. I can finally embrace that and not feel like I'm slipping into vanity or a sense of being something better than the next person, but in my universe I am proud of who I am, what I have accomplished, and what is yet to come!

In my universe, I am...

Couldn't sleep until I wrote something

So, yeah, I'm tired as hell and ready for sleep. I tried to lay down and wander off to dream land, but I just couldn't do it without putting something on the page.

I find myself getting more and more excited about my trip to Nashville. Primarily I'm going to visit a very dear person in my life and that means the world to me. Secondly, I not only feel, but know that this trip will be a catalyst of sorts, and that excites me too. I've been weaving in and out of writer's block for several months now, and I've finally learned to embrace it. There is a purpose, though I don't know what it is yet. I do know that when the damn breaks it's gonna be amazing. As much as I've grappled with the why's of not being prolific right now, I've also learned to go with the flow and believe there is a reason for everything.The ideas are raging through me like storm clouds, but my mind can't stop long enough to put it on the screen. I'm keeping track though, so when it hits, I'm ready. I'm just grateful for the support of the people around me, and I'm especially grateful for David. He sees the vision alongside me, however, he believes it, and I'm just learning to. I know being in his presence will infuse me and motivate me to a level I can't even grasp yet. Great things are coming and I'm open.

In my netherzone again

So, here I am in my netherzone again. I've been up for about an hour now, staring at the blank screen, wondering...

I worked on a poem this weekend, flowed with the groove it put into my head, slammed the words down on the page, and today I hit delete. It just didn't feel right. I know there is something just around the bend, it's niggling at my spine. Lately, every time I write, there is a space between me and my words, like I'm writing behind the veil again. I've meditated, contemplated and ejaculated my existance onto the page, danced between dark and light, hidden the fear of not knowing what to do next, and loved every moment of my evolution.

I've been touched by the hand and the mind of an amazing force in my life, and been grateful that he is...or as he puts it, I am...

I have appealed to the powers that be to guide me toward the resurrection of my creativity.

I have allowed, and been grateful when the Universe provided.

Just moments ago, I stood in the dark, my hands to the sky, a tear on my cheek, the taste of night on my lips and screamed my gratitude in silent splendor, internally, just for me.

Thank you for teaching me not to live through my words, but to let my words live through me, for only when my fingers dance upon the keys, am I truly free.

Inspiration

I've been basking in the joy of my Wednesday night poetry infustion at the Lobby in St. Petersburg, Florida. I had the opportunity to meet two amazing artists that moved me in ways I haven't been moved in a long time. Their words struck me to the core and made me want to rush home and write. Of course that didn't happen since I got home at 2:30 a.m., got to sleep at 3:30 a.m., and had to get up for work at 7:00 a.m. Nonetheless, it's always worth it to go. Shadokat from North Jersey and Heather from Brooklyn were an absolute treat to the senses.

I realized I had to get back out there, back into the scene, back into my element to help fuel my recent block. It's not so much that I can't write as of late, it's more about not being sure what to write about. There are so many emotions flowing through me right now, and honestly, I'm on overload. Now, I'm not complaining, it's a fabulous feeling and I revel in it. I know it's all part of the process.

I feel as though I'm heading into a new level of creativity and it's inspiring to say the least. It's amazing how things unfold when one "Allows" things to fall into place without trying to make it happen. Inevitably, the Universe always provides and for that I am grateful.