To start at the beginning would not explain the impact of my life adequately enough, so I'll start with a journal entry from a few weeks ago.
I'm sitting in a bath of sea salt with 8 drops of lavendar oil, as per my physical guide''s instructions. Last night was difficult for me. I went through a transition that physically and emotionally rocked me and depleted me. My body and my mind hurt in unison. I am still trying to grasp all of this. For the longest time, I thought it was my imagination, wishful thinking, but I realize now that is not the case. This is all being driven by many forces that have gathered together to take me to a higher level of consciousness. This is the second wave of the overall transition. Each one becomes more intense, more profound. The fear, however, is gone.
I suppose my biggest fear was driven by the idea that something I have searched my entire life for might disappear one day when I awaken. I realize now that is nowhere near the truth. I've been assured of that in more ways than one. I have learned that it is okay to "allow" to "trust." I appealed to the powers that be in answering the question that has driven me to the brink of tears so many times. When I reach the apex, when the crown is completely open and I finally realize my potential, will the one thing that I've searched so long for be taken away from me? I know, it's a selfish want in the bigger picture, but I won't lose sight of the fact that I am human, therefore, I have dreams and desires. I did realize though that it was something I placed in my own mind to prevent me from forging ahead.
I lost sight of the demons I have to realease, solely out of fear of what would happen if I did let them go. They have become such an integral part of who I am. There is a large part of me that is embroiled in my past, so much blame I have shouldered for the chain of events that have caused me pain. The burning question in the forefront of my mind has always been "why me?" I couldn't begin to grasp why these things were happening...relentlessly.
I do understand now, and the release will come in waves. Along with that release will come the ability to affect a change not only in myself, but in others as well. I am beginning to understand my purpose.
I'm sitting in a bath of sea salt with 8 drops of lavendar oil, as per my physical guide''s instructions. Last night was difficult for me. I went through a transition that physically and emotionally rocked me and depleted me. My body and my mind hurt in unison. I am still trying to grasp all of this. For the longest time, I thought it was my imagination, wishful thinking, but I realize now that is not the case. This is all being driven by many forces that have gathered together to take me to a higher level of consciousness. This is the second wave of the overall transition. Each one becomes more intense, more profound. The fear, however, is gone.
I suppose my biggest fear was driven by the idea that something I have searched my entire life for might disappear one day when I awaken. I realize now that is nowhere near the truth. I've been assured of that in more ways than one. I have learned that it is okay to "allow" to "trust." I appealed to the powers that be in answering the question that has driven me to the brink of tears so many times. When I reach the apex, when the crown is completely open and I finally realize my potential, will the one thing that I've searched so long for be taken away from me? I know, it's a selfish want in the bigger picture, but I won't lose sight of the fact that I am human, therefore, I have dreams and desires. I did realize though that it was something I placed in my own mind to prevent me from forging ahead.
I lost sight of the demons I have to realease, solely out of fear of what would happen if I did let them go. They have become such an integral part of who I am. There is a large part of me that is embroiled in my past, so much blame I have shouldered for the chain of events that have caused me pain. The burning question in the forefront of my mind has always been "why me?" I couldn't begin to grasp why these things were happening...relentlessly.
I do understand now, and the release will come in waves. Along with that release will come the ability to affect a change not only in myself, but in others as well. I am beginning to understand my purpose.
