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Sunday, June 8, 2008

I’m damn exhausted but it feels good

It's been a busy weekend. I've been rearranging my room and setting things up for the long haul to create an environment that fuels my desire to write. The best thing I could have done was finally accomplished this weekend. I took the TV out of my room. I realized that I had this pattern beginning of coming home, puttering around the house and then plopping down in bed and clicking on the tube. I guess it was part of my way to deal with the writer's block. Maybe it helped keep it going in some ways.

So, now with the tube absent, I've been back to listening to music again, and I find myself at the keyboard slamming away for hours at end. What an amazingly fabulous feeling. Naked and Raw has been a catalyst for me as far as getting the words out. I'm amazed with every new piece that comes out of my current state of mind. Though I finally possess an inner peace and feel like life is on the upswing, the pieces are dark and powerful.

The whole purpose for this book is to put out all of the things I've held inside, the truly relevant work that observes my life from the outside in. Due to my life altering experience in Nashville, I'm able to do this without worrying about what people will think or how they will react. I can now be an observer of my own experiences, viewpoints and ideas, and put them out there the way I always wanted to. It is liberating to say the least.

Though the weight of many things have lifted from my shoulders and I see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can also be proud to say I do not deny that the dark side of me is the well of my inspiration and it's from that place that my best writing emerges. That dark side is by no means an indication of who I am as a person, but where I've been as a writer. I no longer feel the need to apologize or rationalize any of it.

As I stated before, I have come to realize my purpose and the reason for my unquenchable passion for writing. Even if I can affect one life, I will have accomplished what I have set out to do.